today at the mall i saw some boy using a vibrator to massage his face and I silently thanked the lord for camera phones
“Every new country she goes to, she gets colored in. Epic”.
- drive thru guy: bye have a nice day
- me: bye i love you
GET TO SHELTER NOW!!! I’M WATCHING WEATHER CHANNEL, AND TWO STORM CHASING TEAMS HAVE BEEN HIT. GET UNDERGROUND. AN INTERIOR ROOM WILL NOT SAVE YOU THIS TIME.
THE HUGE TORNADO IS A MILE-PLUS WIDE. IT IS AN ESTIMATED EF5. EVERYONE, STAY SAFE AND ALERT. PLEASE REBLOG WITH UPDATES
I know how to play hockey!
Does anyone wanna play hockey with me?
Matthew can sense Hockey from a thousand miles away, you only have to tap the ice and he’ll be there. Waiting.
Why is this thing back on my dash
*sniffs* *she also smells a little bit like the stuff Denmark drinks too* *seems safe enough* *meows and looks up at her, tail up*
….You’re kinda cute.
[Reaches down to pet him]
What’s up little guy?
*rubs his head against her hand* *happy chirp-like noise*
[Quickly scoops him up into her arms, beginning to gently pet him behind his ears.]